Floaters and Some Holy Water

Anyone ever take a big sip of your bottle of water only to realize after it reached the back of your throat that your middle- little (Ali Cat) back washed into it? That’s pretty much how my week has gone so far.. which really did include me swallowing small pieces of bagel and cream cheese ..

But let’s move on from that because I’m getting queasy thinking of it.

This past weekend was so hectic but also a reminder of just how blessed I am. We got to visit a new church, ran a ridiculous amount of errands and even got to see two of my favorite people baptize their beautiful little fourth baby girl. All four of my girls got a little bottle of Holy Water which I was thankful for because if they ever when they act like jerks I’m just going to start throwing it on them. Thank you sweet Jesus!

Saturday was definitely one of my favorite days. I had FINALLY had some 1:1 time with my biggest-little (Twinks). We got to see a YouTuber Mom that I have been watching for some time now and was beyond excited. My Twinks was so happy to “get away from (her) annoying sisters”.. Yes, we are officially in that stage where we ruin her life on a minute to minute basis. We were halfway to the meet up when I realized I left my wallet at home. License, cards, cash money (as my mother in law says <3) .. all of it. Twinks is now at the ripe age of 10 and thinks she is a grown adult so her first response was “It’s ok Mom, just use your phone and pay with an app or let’s just go to Starbucks before we get there”. Which normally works but I actually just got a new phone on Friday and didn’t upload my payment info into my wallet yet, because I have NEVER used it like that before…. First world problems, I know. We found $7 in the car and talked about how we are going to split a Chai Tea after we pay the tolls.. literally, she is my child ❤

The day goes on and we have a nice time, laugh, eat some AMAZING pizza and meet some new people. I got to see my Twinks interact in such a mature way that my perspective of her shifted.. just like that. She is such a beautiful soul that is often times taken for granted because she is so independent. She just kind of floats in the background not to be bothered unless her sisters interact with her AT ALL and then all hell breaks loose. And I’m serious when I say, ALL HELL.

What stuck in my head after spending the entire school vacation with all of those smiling faces (Why am I so sarcastic?) and getting that alone time with Twinks, is where I am stuck right now as a parent, I want to be strong and firm and raise our girls to be independent, confident and successful. But how do you do that when you are insecure yourself? How do I teach, and not screw up, 4 little girls who will soon be women, that self-love and putting yourself first should always be a priority? I mean, Mom can’t even seem to get in a 20 minute workout or remember to eat lunch..

I do realize how blessed I am but where is the line of doing for yourself versus being selfish? And when do you just take a hit, drink the floaters in your water while your oldest laughs at you because your middle- little is staring at you and you can’t disappoint her because she finally is grasping the concept of sharing?? Lord.. maybe the Priest was onto something when he gave us so much Holy Water on Sunday … He took one look at me chasing my littlest-little (GG) around the church and I bet you he shook his head and said the “Our Father” a couple extra times that night.

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